Family Stories
Did your mother really meet Cliff Richard? Did your father shake hands with Ronald Reagan? Could your uncle really have won the Liffey swim? How did your parents meet? Every family has its tales to tell and with our family tree tool and interview guide we can help you discover your family’s secret history.
Getting a family member to share their stories isn’t always easy, so a simple way to uncover clues to your family history is with a family interview. By asking the right questions, you’re sure to collect a wealth of family tales. Of course, if you really want someone to open up to you, the setting must be just right, so light the fire, pull up a chair and settle in comfortably. Then get ready to be amazed at the lives your family have lived.
Use this list of family history interview tips to help you get started.
1. Schedule a time in advance when everyone’s free
- maybe a weekend? Sunday’s a good day for this kind of thing, a relaxed, lazy day when no one has to rush off to anything and everyone’s ready for some family time round the fire.
2. Prepare the perfect setting
Best if the fire is glowing rather than roaring, and have a comfy chair set near it — if your interview subject has a favourite armchair, make sure that’s ready for them. Bring a notepad and pens to the interview. If you’re going to make a recording, be sure to have all your equipment set up and don’t forget the batteries – you don’t want to have to stop a great story mid-flow to go to the shop!
3. Prepare a list of questions beforehand
Either share them with your relative, or give them an idea of what you want to cover, so they can think about it in advance and come armed with a few juicy stories all ready to go.
4. Start with an anecdote that you know the interviewee is comfortable telling
Everyone has that hilarious story that they’ve told over and over and no one ever gets tired of. This, along with the cosy surroundings, will help them relax.
5. Try to discover not just facts, but feelings, stories and descriptions
Ask questions which encourage more than simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers, and don’t be afraid to probe when you feel there’s more to find out. Ask “how did that make you feel?” and “what happened next?” Make sure they’re facing the fire – ever noticed how hypnotic the flames can be?
6. Be a good listener
Show interest, and nudge them gently if they stray too far off point, but allow them to tell their story in their way. Don’t lead the interviewee too much – you’ll find much more interesting discoveries if you let them wander a bit. Sometimes, just let silence and the quiet crackle of the fire do the work – people often feel the need to fill a silence and you might get something you didn’t even know to ask for.
7. Don’t interrupt or try to correct your relative
At worst, this can end an interview in a hurry, and at best they’ll feel under pressure, or like there are ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ answers. It’s an interview, not an interrogation!
8. Probe gently, try to jog memories
But if a question is making them uncomfortable, don’t push for an answer. They will tell you what they want you to know and anything else, well, maybe you’re better off not knowing…
9. Use your prepared questions as a guideline
But don’t be afraid to let your relative ramble. They may have many things to say that you never considered asking. And if questions occur to you along the way, don’t be afraid to go off-script.
10. Keep the interview length to no more than 1-2 hours at a time
It can be tiring for you and for the person being interviewed. Remember it’s supposed to be a fun process, and you can always reconvene if you feel there’s a lot more to find out.
Now that you have your interview tips your ready to go. As an extra little piece of help our family tree template will help you get off to a great start.
Bord na Móna - with nature